I Will Carry You - a review

About two years ago I started reading the blog Bring the Rain, written by Angie Smith. It was her place to tell the story of her yet unborn daughter and the perils that surrounded her pregnancy. Having been given the diagnosis that their baby’s medical conditions made her “not compatible with life”, the blog was her telling of their story, their journey, and the road she walked during that dark time in their lives.

During the weeks and months of reading this blog, Angie’s story spoke to my heart and I often found myself pondering words she had written or saying a prayer for them and their unborn daughter. Angie writes in such a way that you’re right there in her living room, sharing the moment with her. I find it nearly impossible to read her story and be ‘detached’ from it. It was very real, very emotional, and very vivid in my mind.

Several months after the passing of their baby, it was announced that Angie was writing a book that would be released earlier last year. I pre-ordered it from Amazon as soon as it was available and was very much looking forward to reading it.

“I Will Carry You” arrived, and due to general business and an already-growing stack of books to read, it simply got added to the pile. Until now. I started reading after I got home from work one night and when my husband got home from class a couple hours later, I was already half finished. He walked into the house and found me on the couch with tears pouring down my face as I read. A look of concern was on his face, but once he saw what I was reading, he wasn’t really surprised.

The book had me enthralled, overwhelmed, and emotionally exhausted. There was immense sadness as I read the story of this precious little baby they lost, and trying to understand in my own heart how that must have felt, never having been a parent myself. But so much more than that, I was overwhelmed by the testimony they shared, and the faith they had in the God who walks beside us through the ‘valley of the shadow’.

They experienced what it was like to be held in the hands of Almighty God.

This book is not about the death of their daughter. It’s about resting in the arms of God and clinging to His truths and promises. It’s about running to Him with our wants and our hurts, trusting Him to be there no matter how hard the road ahead of us gets. This is about living a life of Faith, even when it hurts you to the deepest core of your existence.

This book offered a wonderful reminder to me that this earth is not my home. It’s a temporary residence and I’m just passing through. This isn’t the end of the story, and death isn’t the end of my life. I know where I’m spending eternity, and it will be kneeling at the feet of my Savior.

If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy,
the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."
-- C.S. Lewis

This book tells the story of a family who faced immense tragedy and chose to turn to the only true source of hope we have in this world – God himself. As hard as it must have been for the Smith family to live through all this, I praise God that they stood strong in the midst of it and were willing to be ‘broken and spilled out’ for Him, sharing their story and being a living testimony to the amazing and sustaining grace of God.

I encourage anybody who hasn’t read the book to read it. But I warn you: read it with a box of Kleenex nearby. (And you might want to warn your husband ahead of time…)

The following song by Natalie Grant is one that I am always reminded of whenever I hear Angie’s story. Sometimes it is in the deepest pain and the darkest night that we find out what it feels like to be held…

Let your hearts be touched,

Making Hummus

As mentioned in my previous post, I love hummus! And if anybody wants to try making it, please do not be intimidated! It takes a grand total of five minutes and stays good stored in the refrigerator for over a week. Hummus is a food that allows you to get in touch with your inner-creativity and make it taste exactly how you want it to taste. I never use a recipe -- I simply alter as I go until it’s just right.

There are many varieties of hummus out there, and if you search any of the recipe websites I’m sure you’ll be able to find a dozen or so that sound worthy of trying. I’ve seen variations with roasted tomatoes, lemon & basil, etc. The recipe I am posting is for basic hummus with tahini (sesame paste), which is the only kind I’ve made because I am so in love with the rich fullness of the sesame flavor. My favorite Lebanese restaurant in town makes to-die-for hummus and theirs is loaded with tahini, more than I’ve ever tasted in any other hummus. It’s amazing.

Basic ingredients:

• 1/4 C. Tahini (usually found in the ethnic aisle of the grocery store)
• 1 tsp. Lemon juice
• 1 can garbanzo beans/chick peas (same thing)
• 1 Tbsp. Garlic, minced
• 1-2 Tbsp. Olive oil
• 1/8 tsp. Salt

 Drain garbanzo beans and reserve the liquid.  Put beans and garlic (to your liking, but I use about 1 Tbs = 1 clove) in a food processor and give it a whirl to break up the beans (it helps everything to mix in better later, at least in my machine!).  Add in a scant 1/4 C. of Tahini (you can always add more later), about 1 tsp. of Lemon juice, a couple swirls of Olive oil (probably 1 Tbsp to start), a dash of salt (no more than 1/8 tsp. to start with), and a few drizzles of the reserved bean juice.  Blend it all together, adding more Olive oil or reserved juice as necessary based on the desired consistency. 

After adding in the beginning amounts, take a taste and see what you think.  Keep adding more of those ingredients until it's to your liking -- more tahini for a stronger sesame flavor, more garlic if you're looking for an extra kick, more salt if it needs it (but over-salting hummus is gross -- trust me, I know this), etc.  The options are pretty endless on this one and it's nearly impossible to mess up!

In case you haven't noticed, this is not an exact science!!! I tend to like my hummus as bit thicker than what you would purchase in the grocery store, but that's just me. I've come to the conclusion there is no right or wrong way to make it. I know you can also experiment with adding chili powder and cumin to the hummus, but I haven't tried that yet. I even saw a recipe for peanut butter hummus, but I don't know if I've brave enough for that one...

When I'm all done, it usually looks something like this (can you tell presentation isn't my strong-point?).  Sometimes thicker, sometimes thinner, depending on my mood when I was whipping it up. 

This is great on wraps, sandwiches, as a dip with veggies, on pitas, or even on grilled cheese (yum!).  Do you have any other ideas of what we could use it on?

Trying New Stuff

Last night I had a burst of energy and decided to whip up some yummy-goodness in the kitchen.  On most nights after work I have just enough motivation to make dinner and sometimes enough umph left in me to do the dishes.  Most of my cooking-adventures happen on the weekend when I don't have to get up early for work the next day, and actually was able to get enough sleep at night without waking to the annoying sound of an alarm clock.  All that to say, this was a sudden and unusual burst of energy.

Item #1:  Cranberry Chicken & Rice

Definitely one of my husband's favorite meals!  And the lovely thing is that if you have chicken cooked up, you just throw all the ingredients together in a pan and it's ready in 15 minutes!  Doesn't get much easier than that.

Item #2: Hummus

Each time I make a batch of hummus it turns out slightly different, probably because I never really follow a recipe.  My batch from last night however, was magnifique!  The perfect blend of ingredients and such a lovely consistency.  It was so delectable that I ended up having hummus & carrots as my dinner. :)   I love the versatility of hummus.  Aside from eating it as a dip with veggies, we often spread it on a wrap or sandwich to add more substance and protein, and eliminate dressing or mayo. 

Item #3:  Grapes

Several blogs I have read lately have sung the praises of frozen grapes.  I absolutely love grapes to begin with, so I was eager to try a method which claimed to make them taste even better.  I washed a bunch of grapes, sealed them up in a ziploc bag and popped them in the freezer overnight. 

The result?  Wow.  The first bite wasn't overly impressive, but the more I ate, the more I became addicted.  The flavor explodes in your mouth when you bite into them and the juice is sweeter than normal.  I'm definitely a fan now!  Try it and let me know what you think! 

Item #4:  VOO

Yes, that says VOO, which stands for Vegan Overnight Oats (no, I'm not Vegan -- I like chicken & cheese way too much for that!).  I have tried making these before, but without the Chia seeds, making it runny and admittedly rather gross.  This time I was armed with all the proper ingredients and a slightly modified version of the recipe so I decided to give it a try.  Angela from Oh She Glows has half a dozen variations of this breakfast and here is where I got the recipe for the one I whipped together -- Strawberry Carob Overnight Oats.  I made a few slight variations to boost the flavor and make it a bit sweeter for our first time, but overall I thought it was pretty good.  The more I ate of it the more I liked it.  The Chia seeds thicken it up nicely and adds a cool texture.  It's a great quick breakfast because you throw it together the night before and eat it straight out of the fridge in the morning.  I really liked this version of it with all the strawberries in it!

After I was done with all my creations I was too tired out to clean the kitchen -- so that's on my docket for tonight.  Why is it always so much more fun to make the messes than it is to clean them up?

Have you made anything new or exciting lately?

OPI - My new love

Last week I tried OPI nail polish for the first time.

Admittedly, I have been skeptical about everybody’s rave-reviews of this product, not understanding how one brand could really be that much better than another. (Plus I had never wanted to spend $9 on a bottle just to try it out.)

This past week I found it on sale and splurged, wanting to see if it really lived up to its reputation.

I applied the Japanese Rose Garden color to my nails, did a clear top coat and waited for the wow-factor. I got nothin'. It pretty much looked like any other nail polish I had ever used. Nothing special here.

The next morning however, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that even after doing a sink full of dishes and showering, the polish was still firmly intact.

Now, four days later, it still hasn’t chipped! Typically nail polish will last 10-15 hours on me and then look awful. I have never found one that doesn’t chip, peel, crack, or need daily touchups – until now!! !

My tips need to be touched up now, but that’s just from normal wear & tear (I’m pretty hard on my nails).

All that to say, I’m sold!

Do you wear OPI?

Has anybody used the “Nicole” by Opi? Any differences or benefits to that one?

Saying It at Work

Sometimes the work environment frustrates me because I don’t feel like I’m able to be my genuine self. I’m not free to be “me” in a place where you are constantly working to keep everybody happy, fight every fire that arises, take no personal interest, and provide the answers to everybody’s questions.

But that’s what the working-world is, and I understand that.

People don’t know who I am behind the high-heels and pencil skirts. And usually, that’s okay. But sometimes…it’s not.

There are times when a person will come to my desk and unload some emotional trauma they're dealing with (painful event, ruined marriage, etc). In those moments, I put aside the work façade that we all use and simply be myself. When they’re willing to trust me enough to put themselves out there, I at least want to meet them half way. If God is opening a door for me to be a part of their life, if only for a few minutes, then I need to forget the high-heeled persona and just be myself.  The person they would see if they were at my house and we were sharing a cup of hot tea, all comfy in our lounge pants with Norah Jones playing in the backgound. 

“I understand what you’re going through; I’ve been there too. God is the only way to solve your problems, but sometimes we have to learn that lesson the hard way. I know that you’re hurting but I’ll be praying for you. ”

Yeah, that’s real office-appropriate.
*ahem*

I don’t care.

God made me with this love for people and a passion to share HIM with them.
So on most days from 8-5, I might appear a little bit stiff with my heels and French twist, but when God opens a door, well then, I just have to walk on through it. Following Him is way more important to me than caring what the employee down the hall might think about me vocalizing my Faith.

Do you get to talk about your Faith at work?

My Happy Place

I love quiet Saturday mornings when I can sneak off to Panera with my husband and enjoy wonderful coversation over moist Asiago bagels and endless cups of Hazelnut coffee.  That time together becomes the happiest memory of the week.  No distractions.  Just us and our aromatic coffee. 
And when I am thrust back in the weekday rush of work & life, I think about my Saturday morning... and I smile.

Everything I Need

Growing up, I remember when we would all huddle in the basement whenever there was a bad storm or a tornado warning. Mom would wake me up in the middle of the night, wrap me in a blanket and carry me downstairs so we were all safe together and away from the windows. The most important thing to me was grabbing my favorite stuffed animal on the way, just in case the house collapsed and I lost everything else.

As I got older, I often thought about what things would be important to me if I could have nothing else. What would I grab if there was a fire, a tornado, or some other disaster? My laptop with hundreds of pictures on it, scrapbooks, a family heirloom? What would it be?

This weekend I was awaked at midnight to the tornado siren blaring. The siren sits a mere 100 yards from our house, but it still took me a few seconds to realize what the noise was after Mike shook me awake. He flipped on the news and we saw the severe weather pattern with funnel clouds lining the screen in all the counties around us. We grabbed a blanket, the cell phones on the nightstand and went downstairs.

So what was most important for me to have?

My husband.

We called our families to make sure they were safe, and that was it. That was all that really mattered. I didn’t sit downstairs wishing I could carry down a box of possessions in case the storm took out our house. I had everything I needed in the basement with me. I looked down to make sure my wedding ring was on my finger (which of course it was), and knew that was the only thing I would have darted back upstairs to get.

The storms blew past and there was no damage done. We went upstairs and as I crawled back into bed, and I silently thanked God for the precious gift He had given me in my husband.
He knew exactly what I needed.

From Under the Leaves

Spring thawed the frozen ground and from within my garden bed grew tufts of green & brown foliage.  I had no recollection of what this odd looking plant might become.  I snapped a picture and sent it off to my mother for a diagnosis. 

Peonies. 

She was so excited!  "Just watch," she said. 

So I watched, and captured the amazing transformation.