I want to be more organized yet I get frustrated & overwhelmed when I dwell on my disorganization for too long. I know that if the clutter around me disappears so will some of the clutter in my head, but unfortunately it just doesn’t seem to be that easy.
We have probably all heard the saying “A place for everything and everything in its place!” Well, that’s great in theory… but what if you don’t have the “place for everything” to start with? (Yes, I hear all you super organized woman out there chanting “Purge, purge, purge!”)
I feel like when I get that burst of energy and ambition to start organizing, it usually ends up meaning the mess was simply shuffled to a different area of the house. Don’t get me wrong, I do purge quite a bit – there are always substantial trash & Goodwill piles, but it never seems like enough.
Maybe I’m simply lacking some serious organizational-knowhow.
Take decorative baskets for example. Keep, or toss? I was going to get rid of them, but there have been several times over the past couple years that I have gone to my stash to claim one and have been so glad they’re there. So I keep them…and use them. But where in the world should I store them?
My solution has been a large Rubbermaid tub and it is getting tossed into the basement.
We ripped our CD collection into iTunes but now where do we put all the CD’s? Keep, sell? Oh I know, how about stacking them in a Rubbermaid tub and putting them in the basement!
I scour Pinterest and blogs for ideas on practical organizing (“practical”, meaning for REAL people, who actually LIVE in their house), and I usually come away uninspired. There are times when I literally feel like I could spend a few days on each room of the house before it was cleaned/purged/organized to perfection….but who has that kind of time? Not me.
One step at a time, I know…but where do I begin?
Anybody have secrets to share?
What’s the first thing to do when you tackle full-on room organization?
The house is quiet. A bowl of Chinese take-out is hot and steamy next to me on the desk. Words have been writing themselves in my head for weeks but I just now have the time to put them into order and get them on paper.
The last several weeks have been a journey. And here I am. Happy.Alive. Excited. The light at the end of the tunnel has finally come, and God has brought my safely to the other side. I know why I had to go through the things that I have, but my thankfulness is overflowing as that season passes and He brings me to a new one.
It has been over a month since my last blog post. The absence wasn’t intentional, but so much has happened and my time to spend on the Internet has greatly decreased. I check my email daily and that is about it these days.
On December 12, I posted about discouragement. You can read it here. God knew my heart, the aching of my soul, and that I felt I couldn’t take the strain of my current situation any longer. I was wearing out…emotionally, physically, mentally.
Without airing loads of dirty laundry, let me just say that my work environment for the past several years wasn’t exactly ideal. We were thankful for the job, don’t get me wrong, but the atmosphere that surrounded that job was hostile, to put it mildly. The years I was there brought me extreme anxiety, stress beyond anything I have ever experienced, and the continuous threat of office “explosions” left an ever-present knot in my stomach.
During the first couple of years, my self-esteem and confidence in my abilities took quite a beating, as well as my personal worth. The best way to describe it is to say I felt like a piece of gum that had been chewed up, spit out, and was now stuck to the bottom of somebody’s shoe to be continually walked on. My husband was a constant encouragement, always praying with and for me. He helped me fight the negativity I was continually surrounded with, always pointing me towards Christ. I read, prayed, and cried out to God. I learned to start each day praying as I walked into the office, pleading that no matter what happened I would find my strength and self-worth in Him.
This place had become my personal battleground. Every victory belonged to the Lord, but every day, and often every moment, was a fight. Through it all, I can honestly say that I saw His grace poured out constantly. Big ways, little ways, it was His droplets of grace that brought me through. Over and over I would recite in my head “if God is for me, who can be against me?” He was always enough, but I was wearing thin. There were days that I would come home and cry for hours, truly not knowing if I would have the strength to make it back in the next day.
But God had a plan, and it wasn’t until the end of December that He was finished with having me there. I knew when the time had come, and the right door was opened for me to walk through. He made it clear. But things happened while I was there.
God made me stronger.
God taught me to see the good side of people, no matter who they were.
God helped me to care about the very people that were the cause of my agony. He gave me the strength to pray for them…..when in my own flesh, I certainly wasn’t thinking thoughts of great kindness towards them (yes, this took a while to overcome!!).
God kept me on my knees….trusting…praying…waiting…
God changed me while I was there.
And when He was done with those lessons, He moved me on.
Through circumstances that only God himself could ordain, I was made aware of a local company looking to hire for a position that I was more than qualified for. A friend submitted my resume, and a couple days later an interview was scheduled.
Within five days, I was offered the job, and late that afternoon I turned in my resignation, giving the standard two-week notice. It was a moment I had dreamed of for over two years. It was finally here. The light I had been searching for.
There are days when it’s still hard to believe it’s really true. I’m really somewhere else. No more feeling physically ill on Sunday night, knowing that Monday is only a few hours away. No more coming home in tears, being sleep deprived due to work stress, or constantly having to question the ethics behind what I was being asked to do. No more being surrounded with yelling, cussing, and accusatory people who were shameless trying to climb their way to the top, not caring who they kicked, tripped, or knocked over on their way. It’s over.
I’m free.
I took a week off to rejuvenate myself. I needed to sleep….time to unwind. Detox from where I’d been for so long. Nine days of reprogramming myself. Telling myself that it was all over and I didn’t have to dread tomorrow anymore. No more fighting the desire to simply wish away Monday thru Friday and live for Saturday. Now I could enjoy each day for what it was, what it brought, and what God had in store.
Friday will end the third week at my new job. I thank God every day for this gift. I have yet to find words that accurately describe the extent of my relief, joy, and thankfulness for this new season of life. God’s timing is perfect, and it was a wonderful way to begin a new year.
One Sunday at church we recently sang the song "Never Once” by Matt Redman. My guess is that if we did a raise of hands, several of you would probably know it.
As we were singing, I was struck by these lyrics. They were telling my story…my journey. They were articulating so many of the feelings that I hadn’t quite been able to put into words. There have been scars and struggles on the way, but I’ve been carried by His constant grace and my heart can say that He has been faithful every step of the way. I have never walked alone….He has never left me on my own.
To you, LORD, I call;
you are my Rock,
do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you remain silent,
I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Hear my cry for mercy
as I call to you for help,
as I lift up my hands
toward your Most Holy Place. Psalm 28:1-2
There is a feeling of anticipation that swells up in me and I wait for news on a pending decision.
Yes? No?
Will I be chosen? Or not?
My mind can hardly concentrate for days, thinking of the excitement that might be around the corner. This could be it! Finally, what I’ve been waiting for!
Every time I hear my email *ding* on my phone, I grab it to scroll anxiously through the messages to see if there is an answer.
And then the day comes.
I read with excitement, until I realize…the answer is no.
Not me. Not this time. Will I ever be chosen?
Suddenly, instead of feeling my breath quicken with excitement, I feel crushed. I feel a hole in the pit of my stomach. I feel like there is a knot there, like I’ve been punched. Perhaps irrationally so, but I feel dejected.
I’m not devastated, but it’s definitely more than simple disappointment. I’m discouraged.
Not many options available right now. No lights at the end of the tunnel. It’s tough. I know my faith is being tested, but this testing has been going on for a long time.
Years.
I know God has a plan. I know He sees me here. He sees my tears; He knows my pain and frustration. But it doesn’t change the fact that the situation remains the same…yet I must remain strong. Faithful. Committed.
So here I am, clinging strongly to words like Faith.
Sovereignty. Grace. Sufficiency.
Praying I can be a faithful servant in the midst of trial.
Trusting that my Lord will see me through to the other side, all in His perfect timing. Even though my eyes are blinded to His plan…
My flesh is discouraged, but His truth and promises are etched on my heart.
I keep believing that some day I will have a different story to tell, and a new journey will have begun. But until then, I keep on trudging, sometimes slowly, but ever moving forward. The climb is steep at times, but I know who is helping me, and He will never let go of my hand.
I will wait patiently for the Lord. He will hear by cry, and lift me up from the miry clay. He will set my feet on a solid rock. He will put a new song in my mouth, which will be a hymn of praise to my God.
PS: You can check out Flower Mama's fun giveaway right HERE
The alarm went off at 5:00 AM. Snooze was hit a few times before my husband gently tugged the covers and pushed me off my pillow.
"Come on honey, boots on the ground!" he said. (I had known I would need his help getting up. I am sooo not a morning person.)
For reasons that will remain yet unwritten, I got up, and stumbled down the hall to start getting ready.
There was a meeting to attend before I headed to the office.
Was it worth getting up so early for?
I hoped that it would be, but still wasn't sure.
It was pitch black when I pulled out of the driveway.
The neighbor's dogs weren't even out yet to bark at me, as they usually are every other morning.
I stop for coffee on the way, hoping that some smooth brewed java will help to jolt my brain awake.
A little further, and I pull into the parking lot. I see a familiar car, so I know I've found the right entrance.
Into the office I go, and further still, I step into a conference room.
Men were filing in, some in dress shirts and ties, other in jeans or sweater vests.
A blend of men, but all with a couple of very distinct in similarities.
High-level executives.Christian. Trying to make their businesses better.
Men with strong desires for Integrity. Honesty. Commitment. Perseverance.
I sat in the middle of a one hour round-table discussion and was shocked. My preconceived notions were shattered.... in a good way.
These were business leaders, trying to gain encouragement from other people in similar situations. They love God, and want to spend an hour every week away from the corporate rat-race in a place where they can lay their cards-on-the-table and be truthful, honest, and real about the difficulties they face in business, and as Christians in a stressful environment.
It was their haven.
For an hour I was able to join them in conversation. Business issue resolution, employee conflict, encouraging positive attitudes, giving the business hope and an optimistic outlook when the "world" thinks everything is bleak. These men were passionate, hopeful, driven, and in love with God.
The world looks at people as either optimists or pessimists -- they are categorized as being either "glass half full" or "glass half empty" kind of people. But as one man pointed out, that is still "the world's thinking." As Christians, we should be showing the world that your glass can be 100% full.
We need to focus on looking Up, more than looking around. When the economy is tanking and businesses are struggling, our glass is still completely full, because we know who fills it. We have Christ. We have abundant hope.
Sometimes this is hard for me to remember.
I work in the business world, and there are days when it is brutal beyond words. But this gave me hope. Hope for my city. Hope for the hearts of people in business leadership. This was a reminder that God is bigger than the problems I see around me. Bigger than the struggling companies and declining job market.
I left renewed.
I went to work and felt like at least for this moment....for today.... my glass was 100% full.
What about your glass? Where is your fill line?
(So was it worth getting up so early? I might be on my third mug of coffee, but it was completely worth it.)
The curtains next to me are dancing as a delicious breeze blows through the open window.
Coffee has finished brewing and I now have a steamy mug of hazelnut warmth next to me.
My husband is a dozen feet away from me at the kitchen table studying and doing homework.
Our bunny is taking an afternoon nap in the corner, his ears twitching once in a while to make sure we’re still around.
There is a load of laundry on the line, one in the wash, and one in the dryer. Our down comforter is also on the line, being aired out in the cool breeze, on what might be the last lovely weekend of the season.
Of course there is always more that could be done, but right now it is time for a break. It is time to enjoy the tranquility of this lazy afternoon. The dishes in the sink can wait awhile longer, and the carpet doesn’t have to be vacuumed right this minute.
I want to enjoy the calm that comes when I’m not rushing out the door for work or juggling meal planning and grocery shopping. I will just be still for a minute. Still so I can think, ponder, and listen. I feel myself take a deep breath and sigh as I lean back on the couch cushions, sink into their softness and fight the urge to simply curl up and take a tap. I hear birds chirping outside and turn my face towards the window so I can feel the gentle breeze blowing across it.
I glance into the kitchen and catch my beloved’s eye. He smiles at me, eyes twinkling, as he takes a sip of coffee. He mouths the words I love you before returning to his textbooks.
I am thankful for the peace in these moments and for the time to simply be still.
On one particular Sunday afternoon we were blessed with one of those days when you just can’t stay indoors because it’s so positively gorgeous out.We decided to grill burgers, picked up some corn on the cob and some other picnic fixings. I made some strawberry lemonade and we were heating up the grill, preparing it for our feast.
I went out to put the corn on, and there were flames coming out from the front base of the grill, jumping up nearly to the lid handle.Now I’m no grill expert, but I was pretty sure that wasn’t a great sign.Mike came out to take a look and sure enough, the propane line had malfunctioned, the flames had melted all the front knobs, and our whole grill was a goner.
{But, I am SO thankful we caught it early enough that the propane tank didn’t explode and blow up the house. Yeah, that’s wouldn’t have been so good.}
So we fired up our itty-bitty mini-grill and tried again.Success!
And for the record, let me just tell you that corn was heavenly.The flavor was wonderful and it was so tender and juicy.For 19 cents an ear, I should have bought more than two…Forget the chips & dip – I wanted more corn!
Mike made burgers to tempt any palate, perfectly seasoned, topped with bacon and fresh mozzarella.Yummm.
Let me tell ya people, this was some seriously-good picnic food!
I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve blogged.
Life gets so busy and my personal computer-time takes a back seat.
But yes, I am alive & well, although a bit absent from the cyber-world.
How are my lovely bloggy friends?
I do believe beautiful weather has finally arrived in pokey ‘ol Michigan.Let me tell ya, it sure did take its sweet time.I must admit though, I did flip my space heater on at work today, just for a few minutes to take the chill off a bit.Space heater.On June 3rd.Wrong, I tell you.
May raced by at lighting-speed and I can't believe it's already June. The year is half over already. Seriously? Wow.
One of my brothers graduated from high school in May, and I also had the privilege of taking his senior pictures. We found some great locations to use as backgrounds, and everybody was really happy with how they turned out.
My dearly beloved had a birthday in May, and that's always a doubly-special day for us to celebrate.
#1) because It's HIS BIRTHDAY
and #2) it was the day were got engaged!
We spent one Saturday hanging out in Grand Rapids, and enjoyed the "Bodies Revealed" exhibit at the museum. I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as I did the "Princess Diana" exhibit {grin} but it was fascinating regardless. The intricacies of the human body never cease to bring me total amazement at how awesome our Creator God truly is.
It’s the best thing ever. (But I've probably mentioned that before....)
I love the give-and-take that comes with being a spouse. That constant support-system that is always around makes my heart sigh and smile in happiness.
We have great days...and not so great days. But I love that we can share both with each other.
The last couple weeks have been filled with some of those not so great days for both of us.They haven’t been bad days, just exhausting and stressful ones.Work stuff mostly.
It has left us both needing to be in the take-mode because we haven’t had a lot leftover in the give department.
But ironically enough, our current challenges at work have left us both with a deeper understanding of what the other person is going through because we’re both left feeling the same way.We get it.
I have been blow away because thismutual-taking has turned into mutual-giving, and it has blessed my socks off!!!
Instead of leaving us cranky and short-tempered with each other because we’re stressed-out and overwhelmed, we have a deeper understanding and empathy for one another because we can completely relate.It has been such a beautiful thing.
Last night as I was driving home from work and all I wanted to do was go out to dinner and talk.
Talk about everything going on because my brain was overloaded and I couldn’t keep it all contained in my head anymore.
I hardly ever ask to go out to eat, especially not during the week.Not when I feel it’s only because I’m too lazy tired to cook.But I was exhausted and I was prepared to go without eating because I really didn’t feel like making dinner…but I knew my dear husband would be hungry so I wracked my brain as to what I could make that wouldn’t be too time-consuming and stressful.
I walked in the door, and was greeted by my dearly-beloved and a sweet “How are you doing, love?”
He hugged me, and before I even had a chance to say much at all, he asked me if I wanted to go get some dinner so I didn’t have to cook.
{And some people say they don’t believe in mind-reading. Well let me tell you, he reads mine pretty well...and he knows his woman!}
We sat in a back booth and talked… and talked… and talked some more.And he understood.And it was wonderful.When I was done babbling and finally stopped to take a breath and munch on my salad, he looked at me and smiled.“I get it.I know what you’re going through.” Those words mean so much to me.
Later we sat on the couch together, he watched the hockey game and I read… and we could just be. Content in our understanding and support of each other.Content in where we’re at in life, and content because God has so richly blessed us with the other half of our puzzle pieces: each other.
Supper was done; the driveway was cleared of snow.
There was some Jim Brickman playing quietly through the speakers and I lit the wick on the new “Passion Berry” WoodWick candle a friend had just given me. I have never had a WoodWick candle before and I absolutely love it!We don’t have a fireplace in our house but the candle crackles so cheerfully as it burns that if I close my eyes I can almost imagine that there is a full hearth blazing in the corner.
We pulled out Yahtzee and sprawled on the floor to play the best 2 out of 3. I love those quiet happy moments when the rush of the world fades away, the TV is off, the computer is shut down, and the loudest noise is that of our laugher.
Meteorologists had been predicting it for a week and amazingly enough it actually happened. Apparently this storm was supposed to hit most of the U.S. too, if reports on Facebook and Twitter were any indication.
My boss sent the office staff home early from work on Tuesday and told us get ready to stay home on Wednesday. I'd never had a snow day from work before!
By 6:00 last night it was snowing pretty hard and when we got up this morning there was a good twelve inches (or more) of show outside. Most the state is covered under a minimum of a foot of snow and some places were pushing twenty inches. I’m sure this is considered “normal” in some states, but not here.
Everybody was told to stay off the roads, but of course there are some people who don’t heed that kind of advice. Like our neighbors, who we saw get stuck in the street and had to call a plow truck. Hubby went out to blow the driveway and I poked my head out to take a few pictures.
Now I am cuddled-up back on the couch watching the snow from the warmth and coziness of our little house.
This is the scene from my window while I'm working:
Enjoying some coffee and a bit of relaxation... I love snow days.
I find a recipe for gooey pecan rolls that I have to try. I text hubby and ask him to take a loaf of frozen bread dough out of the freezer so I can make them for breakfast Saturday morning.
Saturday 8:00 AM
I roll out of bed knowing that those homemade pecan rolls are only about an hour away. Time to get to work!
This is the view from my kitchen window. Snow is falling heavy and the roads look slick. There are drivers going by, headed who-knows-where, while we are tucked cozily into the confines of our happy little home. I am craving some comfort food and a hot cup of coffee. This seems like a perfect way to spend a lazy Saturday morning with my husband. Bring it on.
In a 9" cake pan, mix 1/2 cup whipping cream and 1/2 cup of brown sugar. Stir it until they are well combined and not separating anymore. Sprinkle it with your desired amount of chopped pecans (I used about 1/3 cup).
Roll out your dough making sure it's wide enough to be rolled into a nicely filled log. Next, in good Pioneer Woman style, slather it with some melted butter. Now you're ready to start adding all the good stuff!
In a small bows, mix 2 Tbs. of Sugar and 1 tsp. of cinnamon (or more, depending on your taste).
Sprinkle cinnamon sugar mixture evenly over the rolled out dough and then sprinkle with some extra pecans. I also took some brown sugar and sprinkled it over the top of the pecans, hoping to add a bit more runny goodness to come oozing out of the pecan roll after it baked.
Now you're ready to roll 'er up! Try to keep it tight and even as you roll the dough across the length of the log. Seal the edge with your fingers when you finish rolling. Gotta try to keep that ooey-gooey-goodness on the inside!
Start slicing the log into even pieces and lay them on top of the whipping cream/brown sugar mixture in the cake pan.
I didn't raise my rolls, instead I wanted to keep them smaller. If you do want to rise them at this point, set them in a warm oven or some other method of rising until they're the desired size.
8:30 AM
Ready to go into the oven.
I wish I could send the smells to you through cyber-space. Ohhhhh my goodness. I haven’t smelled anything so heavenly cooking in my house in… well, maybe in forever. While these little yummies are cooking, I brew a pot of coffee to try and ward off the winter chill. With the level of sweetness that will be coming out of the oven, I definitely think we'll be needing something to balance it out. Ahh, and I have a bit of spare whipping cream leftover from the recipe to add to my coffee. A definite treat!
9:00 AM
The rolls came out of the oven bringing their sweet bakery scent with them. I was dying to take a bite of this breakfast delight! My recipe said to flip the pan upside down in order to let the caramel topping drizzle down onto the rolls, allowing every drop of the sweet-goodness to cover the gooey rolls.
For the rolls to sit on, I pulled out a lovely white platter that my brother and sister-in-law gave us as part of our wedding gift. You can't see it in the picture, but the platter has paisley prints etched into the porcelain. So lovely! I could see the pecans inching their way out from underneath the pan as the topping drained onto the rolls.
