{Nobody Asks to Be a Hero}

"Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts. The victims were in airplanes or in their offices: secretaries, business men and women, military and federal workers, moms and dads, friends and neighbors. Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge structures collapsing have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed. Our country is strong." 

This is the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on America.  

Every year on this day my body is covered with chills, my eyes are filled with tears, and my mind swirling with questions.  They say time heals all wounds, but it wasn’t my dad that died that day.  Will time ever heal the wounds of the people who had lives of loved ones so brutally ripped out from under them?

I believe completely in God’s sovereignty, but I also know that it’s easier to trust and believe when it was my dad and my friends that weren’t there that day when they were supposed to be.  God spared them, and I am forever thankful for that.   

Last weekend I attended a football game at Michigan Stadium, an arena seating over 113,000 people.  On the rooftops, perched over the suites and press-boxes were snipers, two on each corner, all around the stadium.  

 You could see them standing tall in the distance,
watching….waiting…ever on alert. This is America now.  

 

The words terrorism or terrorist attack weren’t in my vocabulary before 9/11/01.   I had never heard words like jihad or Al Qaeda, and had no idea who Osama Bin Laden was.   That all changed the day those towers collapsed.  The day the Pentagon was hit.  The day that plane was diverted and crashed in Pennsylvania.   Those words became common in my house, used without thinking because it’s such a part of American life now.  Those words and the people behind them have tried to steal America’s freedom.   Some freedom they stole by taking life itself, other freedoms they stole by invoking paralyzing fear.  

I remember the weeks immediately after, and being scared to go two miles down the road to the grocery store.  Afraid to see Arabs shopping in there, afraid to make eye contact, afraid to be away from my family, afraid of the silence that surrounded all the public places.  Life was eerily quiet for the days and even weeks following 9/11.  People didn’t smile, didn’t laugh as much.  I remember feeling like everybody was simply going about their business as quickly as possible so they could get home again to their loved ones.   

"A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. " 

In the days following the attacks, the news continued to replay footage as more bodies were being uncovered and the likelihood of finding additional survivors dwindled.  I remember standing around the television with my friends from high school and their families, as there was talk of reinstating the draft.  My friends were all talking about what they would do, if they would willingly go fight for their country, and how they wanted to defend America’s freedom.  In the next few years, two of my friends did enlist, and one of them has served three tours overseas in Iraq and Afghanistan.  

"This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world."

I am proud of the Americans that will never forget and never relent.  I love the Americans that resolve to never give up on the idea of freedom that our Founding Fathers fought for, lived for and died for.   I still tear up every single time I hear the National Anthem because of what happened that day.  My favorite line?  The phrase guaranteed to make me cry even reading the simple words? 

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there

Knowing that there are people in this world that want our flag to stop flying in this country, it makes me grateful every time I see it waving proudly.  I thank God for the freedom He has so graciously allowed this country to have, and I pray that as Americans we do not take it for granted.  He has blessed us with it, but He can also take it away.  We should not turn our backs on Him as a nation and we should certainly not take this freedom for granted. 

I thank God that He saw fit to spare my dad and my friends from being in New York City that day, but my heart goes out to the families that had a different fate.  I hope they turn to God as the one and only true comfort in life.  

Never forget.

{quotes from Address to the Nation given on 9/11/01 by President George W. Bush}

"I am slow of speech and tongue."

I finally had the chance to watch “The King’s Speech” this weekend.  Excellent movie!  Probably not one I’d watch more than once or twice, but I thought it was very well done, and an insightful look into that particular royal family. 

After having read this article {link} awhile ago, I was even more intrigued to see the film.  I thought Colin Firth’s portrayal of the King was excellent, and I truly felt my heart go out to him as he struggled with his speech impediment.  As somebody who doesn’t like public speaking to begin with, I can’t imagine the personal humiliation of the problem being compounded with stuttering and stammering. 

The movie also created a lovely picture of his wife & children and the unconditional love and support they gave him as he struggled to overcome this impairment.

There was a scene that particularly stuck out to me, where he was so distraught over the pressure and his inadequacy that he shook with tears and yelled: “I am not a king; I am not a king!!!”  

It reminded me of Moses in Exodus 3 & 4 where God told him to go to Pharaoh and ask for the release of the Israelites.  God gave Moses everything he would need, and what was the response? 

Exodus 4:10 –  Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

I can just hear him saying “I am not a king; I am not a king!”  (perhaps “ambassador” would be a better word in this case.)

Exodus 4:11&12 - The LORD said to him, "Who gave human beings their mouths?  Who makes them deaf or mute?  Who gives them sight or makes them blind?  Is it not I the LORD?  Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

God will equip those He has called.

Exodus 4:13-14a - But Moses said, "Pardon your servant, Lord.  Please send someone else."  Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses...

Ouch.  I think this was a long lesson for Moses to learn.  But isn’t it for all of us?  How many times have I felt prompted to do something and yet shirked away from it because of my own feeling of inadequacy?  Probably more times than I would like to recall. 

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

God never promised us that life would be easy, but He did promise that He would never leave or forsake us, and that He would give us the strength to do whatever He has asked of us. 

It’s been my experience in life that God doesn’t often just plop us into a vat full of grace and call it a day.  It’s usually more like droplets of grace sprinkled through each day, just enough to get us through, but not so much that we forget where our abilities and strength come from or our need to depend completely on Him. 

Have you felt those drops of grace in the midst of inadequacy lately?

Graceful ~

Meaning of the name Anne: grace; graceful; gracious

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Have you ever met me?

Graceful, I am not.

This fact has been a joke in my family since I was young.

It's not something I dwell on for the most part.

After all, it's just a word.

Right?

The past few days have rudely reminded me of the lack of gracefulness that I tend towards.

via

A reminder like falling down the porch steps with a basket full of clean laundry in my arms, heading towards the clothes line. (I admit, I laid on the driveway and whimpered like a wounded puppy.  Pathetic. )

<> <>

via

Or trying to finagle an umbrella in the rain.  And wind.  Especially the wind part.  And should I mention that I carry a vibrant green umbrella?  Hard to miss the girl walking down the street with that! All the while struggling to keep it upright and not have it blow away while her hands are full of other paraphernalia.  Awkward moments.

And people ask me why I usually just run through the rain and skip the umbrella.  Really?  They obviously have never seen me try to use one.  One day I'll end up like Mary Poppins and be carried away by it.  Only mine will be bright green.  You'll be able to see me coming!

But there's more to the story than that. Perhaps we are quick to forget that there is a drastic difference between graceful and grace.

And this grace business?

It changed my life.

{Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me...}

That "wretch" the song was referring to, is me. 

I am the wretch, made beautiful only by the amazing grace that God has extended to me.  He chose me, not because of anything I have done, but because of the plan He had for my life.  A plan that He knew before the very foundation of the world.  Wow.

Grace was extended to me, a sinner, and allows me to have a personal relationship with God through His Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ. 

This Grace has promised me an eternity in Heaven, instead of the hell that I otherwise deserved. 

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9

I love that my name means grace; a constant reminder of God's love for me and the beauty of His plan for my life. 

{I once was lost, but now am found.
'Twas blind, but now I see.}

Why We Praise Him In The Storm

I was sure by now, God,
that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away. 

 The storm clouds roll in and the thunder & lightening clash.

Our souls are overwhelmed.

But I will praise Him in the storm.

Because after the clouds break and the sun peaks through...

His promises are made evident once again.

I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth.

 

"Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds,
I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant
between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

That's why we praise Him in the storm.

2009

What a year this has been. So many new experiences. Lessons learned. Memories made. Plain words seem like the best way to convey what the past twelve months have been. Laughter. Tears. Joy. Frustration. Glee. Surprise. Confusion. Enlightenment. Hurt. Bliss. Persistence. Elation. Determination. Happiness. Jubilation. Peace. Excitement. Comfort. Delight. Euphoria. Grace. Forgiveness. Understanding. Compassion. Overwhelming Love. In varying degrees I have experienced each of these things and each has left an etching on my heart. Life doesn't pass by without leaving a mark, either good or bad. It's what we do with those experiences that matters most. My desire is to seek God in all things, to ask Him to teach me though the tough times, keep me faithful in the good times, and in all things praise His holy name and give Him the place in my life that He deserves. Life gets hard sometimes and circumstances can start changing who we are, how we deal with things, what our highest priorities are. But God is greater than anything we can possibly experience in this life and He continues to mold this clay, for I am just a simple substance in the Potter's hand. In turn, the good times can make us complacent in our Walk and perhaps take for granted the amazing grace God bestows on our lives each day. I want to live each day completely overwhelmed by the fact that I have been claimed as a child of the Most High God, the King of Kings. Overwhelmed by the knowledge that He loves me more than is possible to conceive with the human mind. I don't want to take for granted the fact that He chose me to be His own and that He extends a moment-by-moment grace to this sinful soul that is beyond my comprehension. I pray that I live with a hunger to know my Savior better each day and draw ever closer to Him. Happy 2009.

Hungering for Him, Anne

For your nearness Lord I hunger For your nearness Lord I wait Hold me ever closer Father Such a love I can’t escape For your nearness I am hoping For your nearness Lord I long Have no need of any other I have found where I belong Yes, I have found where I belong So draw me nearer Lord Never let me go Closer to your heart Draw me nearer Lord Draw me nearer Lord